Back from field camp!
5D4N in Pulau Tekong. Brought back fond memories of my BMT.. got me a little emotional at some point. Hahaha, well time flies. So I came back to mainland Singapore this morning. Everything was good. All was a good experience. New platoon mates, new culture.

Now is the time, when SCS foundation will select 6 cadets whom they feel are capable of crossing over to OCS. I was told i'm one of them. Dilemma. Huge one for me.
I mean, becoming an officer was my NS dream. But during that 2 months of OOC period, i kind of slacked off and did not have that same drive to go OCS anymore. Furthermore, i was seperated with my batch of people who passed out with me because i got to 'retain' as an OOC.. Now that i've recoursed and got a long so well with my new platoon, i'm about to be sent away across to OCS. My NS journey has been a wild coaster to be honest, but i guess this was the way it was meant to be afterall..

However.. another dilemma has got to be my time and physical challenge. I can't imagine how i'm going to manage meeting my girlfriend only that little amount of time every week, booking out on Saturday and going back in on Sunday.. Also.. my physical combat fitness is not up to OCS standard right now. To be joining them halfway through will be a huge problem for me. Plus, my persistent back problem may be a hindrance too. Then again.. I don't know. I want, but i don't. Ahhh...

Bad week.
Halfway through foundation term. Arrowed by my encik to be the Leader Platoon Sergeant (LPS) for my platoon. Shock, stunned, taken aback, overwhelmed, you name it.
I was really not ready for such a role, but i was like, suck it up and agreed.

I tell you, going through army as a platoon has never been as stressful as this after holding an appointment. Yes, you get that extra bit of rank above your fellow mates but then it also means heavier responsibilities. BURDENS. You gotta wake up earlier than your men. You gotta make sure everyone fall in on time. (*Never on time because the cadets are just way too lazy to move faster*). You gotta make sure you get the right set of instructions from above. Then again, handling one instruction is simple, but handling more than that is not funny! Especially when specific task are to carried out and done prior to my own time management to fit into whatever schedule that was given.

My first day was horrible. Accounting for strength was a bit of a challenge due to people on MC or fall out from any programs. Bringing them to meals was another, because not every men will cooperate with you and some will wander off on their own. From there on, I as the LPS will get the punishment should all these are caught. Many things, that you got to suck it, play it by ear, estimations and fairness to all your men. I tell myself, i cannot please everyone of my mind, and if i got to tell them straight in their face that he can't do a certain thing, he REALLY CAN'T. It was a rough experience, you know, being me as this gentle non-scolding type of person. Everything was a huge challenge. But again i told myself, that i should put it as a positive method instead. I chose to be different from the previous LPS, whereby they always shout and shout for orders. I did not, i utilise my section leaders to carry out and transfer my orders for me. I did my best to minimise shouting. Other than that, getting my men to cooperate has to be the biggest and toughest task.

During navigation days, i think i took care of my men well as i got to display some welfare compared to other platoons and i think i won their hearts. I'm confident from my soft approach they notice my style and i did not act different from a cadet to a LPS. I did not display any 'wayang' to my men and i know they agree with me. Therefore i personally feel i did a great job. I can confirm that, because i went to survey some of the men after i stepped down today. Oh yeah, navigation was tough. Being thrown into the jungle and shit, just a compass and pacer to find our own way out. I was so afraid that i would slip and fall and no one is around to save me.. Hahaha silly me. But the next day navigation was better because we went as a section and i believe it bonded us even closer. I cannot really remember much but i know being LPS for those days were really stressful. Today was my last day, and it got to be the worst. I had to have my phone with me on standby just so encik can contact me anytime to activate my men for next task anytime he feels like it. Thankfully for some of my guys there are hardworking and they noticed my situation and helped me out. It was tough to get people moving, but i understand, as a cadet, i will not complie as much too because i seriously think putting the mattress to sun at the parade square for an hour is pointless. Whatever it is, i got somewhat of a minor scolding because i was slow to get people to fix some table covers. Also, some big shot just scolded the whole platoon for not greeting him. Of cause, i stood out and took the blame and scolding.. One point of time there was a fight between my guys, and all it took was one shout and stern stare and they stopped. I felt king for awhile but i think i did my best. All in all, a great experience. Booking out, the order of movement to the bus was platoon 2, 1 and then 3. But my guys noticed some platoon 3 people cutting the queue, so i got my ass up and got the other LPS from other platoon to watch out for those people because it is really unfair to my people. I really feel that i took care of my men well, and i did my best for them. Other than that, aside from the experience, it was a rough 3 days..

Things i typed may not make sense because my mind is kind of 65% off..

Long time since i blogged.
Wow, i'm already going into my 4th week of my recourse. 4 more to go and i'm done with foundation term. I really hope that i get posted out to Chong Pang Camp as an air force specialist for my professional term.

Other than that, things' have been fast and quick. Very tiring though nothing much to do in camp. Got my IPPT gold and passed my SOC with a new personal best timing but it's still slower than most of the people. Anyway, what's most important is that i do not need to do any of those anymore.

So my beloved girlfriend's birthday is coming and i honestly have yet to have any gifts prepared, but thankfully i do have an idea.. But we'll see. Time's so short for me. Weekend's are precious now, and it's so difficult to diversify it. I hope i get things done as soon as possible. Whatever it is, i look forward to the new week because it's chinese new year, not for the ang pao of cause.. but for the long MUCH, MUCH, MUCH needed break from army related stuffs.. That's it for now.

WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU WILL ONLY MAKE YOU STRONGER