posted on Friday, January 18, 2013 at 11:30 PM
Tired.
Been a really rough week. Bad start to my recourse. Mostly my fault anyway so i deserve it..
Anyway, I'm in Bravo company. Supposed to be the slackest company in the whole of SCS. Yeah, too slack that the cadets are now taking advantage of it and moving ever so slowly, that we got to book out only at 9pm. That was the latest time i ever booked out of my whole stay in SCS.
Did some technical handling today, handle new weapons and stuff. Really admire the SAW, but i guess i'm not fated with it. Barely just passed the test for it.. :/
Whatever it is, i've got what i wanted, a recourse. Now to think of it, i feel a sense of regret at times, but i know and i always try to convince myself that it is for the best. I don't want to still be a private doing crap work when i reservist.. I hope i do well in my course and revive that possible hope of crossing over to OCS! Which will definitely get my NS dream back on track. Either way, i'm happy, contented. I just need to constantly tell myself that i chose this path and i'll take it, even if it takes a long while to adapt.
Army aside.. Looks like my room is ready! Wardrobe.. everything! Except for no TV and extra shelves but that's ok! Gotta wake up early to pack all the stuffs in.. Goodnight.
posted on Friday, January 11, 2013 at 11:30 PM
Wow, it's a brand new year already?!
2 months into being an OOC, now i'm all excited and pumped up about recoursing this coming Monday. I hope i can catch up in terms of combat fitness.
Life's normal. Pretty routine.. but I'm just glad i can spend time with almost everyone. Sometimes i wish i can split myself up and double the efficiency.. whatever. Growing old, growing problems, growing obstacles. I'm so tired of constantly motivating myself to push on. But i have to, otherwise i'm a goner. Why, oh why is our mind so playful.
We all have this moment, whereby we just get stressed up, annoyed and mad about things we don't know why we are. Simply ridiculous and heartbreaking especially when it determines our mood. Recently i just feel so lousy and mundane. Like.. it's all monotone and going through motion. I don't know what is wrong with me. Perhaps i need a long period of rest, all by myself to regroup my sanity..
Baby, i'll always love you deep in my heart.